Post Traumatic Stress Life

I was watching video footage and documentaries marking the 15 year anniversary of 9/11. Those images and stories pain me still today as they did that day and the days that followed. We all remember where we were when the news broke out. We all remember our reaction. We all remember what we felt. Fearful. Helpless. Vulnerable. Confused. 

As the horrific event took place I was at work. I was locking down the campus as I did every morning as the students headed to their classrooms. I headed to the lounge to watch the news coverage and saw the second plane hit the second tower. My heart dropped and I froze in disbelief. I worked just outside downtown of a major city. The phone lines lit up. Parents headed back to pick up their children. They feared that one of the sky scrapers near the school was a target. I was there until the last student was picked up.

There were many people who were able to escape the Twin Towers that day. Their trauma is deep. There were many who witnessed it first hand. Their trauma is deep. What about the rest of the world that witnessed the events on their screens?  Can we say that we have been affected? Traumatized? If I see an airplane too low or on a different flight path than usual I notice. I’m concerned. 

I have been greatly hurt because of the ongoing conflicts with the black comminuty and the police force. I don’t see resolution. I don’t see improvement. It’s getting worse. There is fear from every angle. Fear from black community. Fear from the police officers. Fear from all citizens. I don’t want to see one more innocent life taken because of FEAR. We are all affected. Traumatized. Fearful.

Every morning I see my children off to school. I pack their lunches, sign their notes and have them ready for another great day of learning and playing with their peers. I fear another Sandy Hook, Columbine, Virgina Tech. Those events can’t be erased. Those atrocities can’t be forgotten.  Sandy Hook hit hard. The images of the children affected have been seared into me. Their innocence and livelihood were stolen from them. I don’t want that for my family or yours.

What about the not so traumatic but still traumatic everyday issues. As of right now, it looks like I might not pay rent on time. I haven’t spent frivolously. I’ve been careful at budgeting. Unfortunately the system is against us. I think about the labor laws that were put into effect some time ago. An employer can’t exploit you for profit or gain. That still may hold true, but the fact is that many of us have multiple employers just to make ends meet. We are still being exploited. That’s just not right. And on top of this we have to live in fear, feel helpless and be vulnerable to a system that doesn’t care about human beings but profit. It’s all so confusing. Aren’t we a species of higher intelligence? How can we let this keep happening?

Thank you for reading. Thank you to those who have followed my site. Please spread the word. Change and improvement starts with talking about these issues. I’d love to hear what you think. 

Author: mariermaritare

We are a married man and woman who are trying to figure out life, love, family and marriage.

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